Don’t feel all alone. Many people before you have gone through the process of healing a broken heart and there’s no doubting, many other jilted lovers will go through the same painful experience after you.
Cold comfort? Maybe. So, it might be helpful in your recovery from a failed relationship if you understand and perhaps appreciate the three stages of getting over a broken heart.
Of course, not everyone will suffer the trauma of breaking up with a partner in exactly the same way, nor will they necessarily go through each of the 3 phases. However, being aware of what can happen may help you cope better and deal with such situations should they occur.
First of all, there is the “hurting” stage. During this stage, the pain of heartbreak can feel so bad that you have trouble coming to terms, or finding ways to cope with it. Sometimes people in this situation try to drown their sorrows by drinking too much alcohol, taking drugs, or even go to the extreme of causing themselves physical injury.
Other reactions to the painful period immediately after a break up of a relationship can be constant crying or sobbing and feelings of high anxiety and depression. However, be assured that these responses are only natural human behavior provided they do not persist too long.
Some people use this time to “stalk” their ex. Whether it’s by making phone calls at all times of the day and night, constantly sending heaps of long sweet message to them, or simply going over to their ex’s home to spy on them. Stalking is their way of keeping tabs on an ex.
Obviously, this is an unhealthy reaction to a break up that is not recommended as it can only lead to disastrous consequences.
A more common and acceptable reaction that people suffering from the ending of a romantic relationship do is to lean on their friends and family during this period. Good friends can provide much needed emotional support you require to move on and get over the heartache.
It’s essential for your emotional well-being that during this initial period of hurting, that you begin to develop strong coping skills. For example, it’s a great idea to rekindle friendships and reconnect with family members that perhaps you didn’t have time for when your relationship with your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend was going strong.
Also, talking to other people about how they dealt with a break up is another excellent way to cope. Not only will you get to learn some useful survival strategies, but it will confirm the fact that other people have gone through the same thing…and have lived to tell the tale!
It’s important at this stage of the game to think “happy” thoughts. While this might sound like strange advice, just remember that there are good things in the world that will help you live through this tough stage in your life. Even though you might be in a dark and lonely place at the moment, know, and believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.